“I had a dream. I had a dream, baby.” Well, selfishly, it was a dream about me, baby. A dream born and extinguished long ago, baby, by a heavy fog of unknowing, fatigue, insecurity, and outside judgies, baby.
What can I say? Perhaps I’m a glutton for punishment, masochistic, or finally facing facts. “What facts?” That “things” just don’t seem to work out, ever. Despite hard work, good reviews, and a college degree (people really fixate on that lately. Like I should only work in my degree field forever and ever and ever, and that a 25-year-old BA is a lifetime guarantee of employment), nothing has evolved beyond mediocre jobs at little pay and no personal fulfillment. So, if nothing has come together thus far, then maybe, in some cosmic way, it’s not supposed to and I need to stop shoving a square peg into a round hole (and using clichés), and find what does work personally and professionally. And, if that thing makes it ok to get out of bed in the morning, even better. This all sounds warm and fuzzy and workable and targeted for someone in the mid- to late-20s. But I’m not. I’m supposed to be established and living in a phat house with a nice car wearing yoga pants and clogs as my daily uniform. But I’m not. Prospective employers see my résumé - a bit colorful - and tell me, “You’re over-qualified” (old), “Under-qualified” (don’t meet the unrealistic ‘unicorn’ list of ‘required’ qualifications/you’ve been a freelancer/lived abroad and that’s scary to us), “You used to do this – TV/film – why are you applying for this – not TV/film?” (maybe needs have changed), and my personal favorite, “You don’t want this job” (then why did I apply?). People past the age of 35 still need jobs! Women with children still need jobs. For months, years, I created formal résumés, applied online implementing as many search trigger words as possible while playing up the variety in my work experience. I wasn’t looking for anything fancy - just a decent job to support my kid, preferably with remote and flex possibilities. I applied to jobs that remotely to strongly match my skill set, full-time and part-time. Ok, I get the message. Traditional work world. You don’t want me. Ok. You told me get the hell off your lawn. So I will. So long 9-to-5-or-later rat race. If I’m gonna do it, now’s the time. I’m going to pursue my dream of writing and creating shows for TV. I mean, we all know how much the entertainment industry loves diversity, loves “experienced”, “over-qualified” females in their ranks. This’ll be perfect! But how? Plunk down thousands I don’t have for a program from a top-rated university, that’s what! I’m going back to school! I’m balancing earning, learning, and parenting, and life! In other words, I hope my kid loves the great outdoors as we could soon be living under a freeway overpass. Holy Shit. WTF have I done?! |
AuthorGreat transitioner & media operative seeking a position as a script coordinator, writers' room assistant, or staff writer with a TV drama. I'm also open to related jobs with networks and production companies. Landing an agent would be awesome. Archives
March 2024
Categories
All
|